The lifespan of the average human being has gone up over 30 years in the last century. In 1900, the life expectancy of a human was only 41. In 2000, the life expectancy was about 74. Now, in 2018, it’s 79; and only going up. But what’s the secret to such a long and fulfilling life?
Most senior citizens will tell you the key to a long life is something like an apple a day, or a to have fun and be adventurous. Maybe chugging three cups of coffee every morning. Local octogenarian, Mike Floyd, said he knows the “real secret to living beyond your years”.
Floyd, who will turn 85 this year, blames his age on three major things; his diet, exercise, and daily activities.
Floyd’s diet consists of two pounds of bacon (per day), smothered in brown sugar throughout the day and for dinner he eats Spam and brussel sprouts. Occasionally, he will eat an avocado, but only if it is extremely over-ripe. Floyd advoids carrots at all costs, as well as most fruits.
Floyd’s doctor, Albert Hector, does not approve of his lifestyle choices.
“If Mike continues this diet and habits, he’s not likely to live passed 86. He’s only 84,” said Hector. “Mike is also on strong painkillers and should not be taken seriously.”
Floyd’s exercise regime is something along the lines of moving his arm up and down to pick up the remote and change the channel, then putting it back down. Every few hours, he walks to the kitchen for food, and proceeds back to his recliner to continue watching TV.
Floyd said the most important part of life is activities. In the time period of twenty four hours, Floyd spends seven of them watching television; mostly “CSI: Miami” and “River Monsters”. He smokes three Brazilian cigars every day, and brushes his teeth with vinegar.
Despite Hector’s suggestions, Floyd insists that he will live beyond his years.
“I have no doubt that I will live to be 85 or even 86. My lifestyle is top-notch, and I refuse to stop eating bacon,” says Floyd. “Bacon is the meal of champions.”