Christmas is right around the corner and it would be real nice for you to get me some gifts since my life is basically going down hill. I’m hoping you can help with that. I really need Tarte Shape Tape concealer to hide the fact that I do not sleep and so I can actually look some what alive at school. While you’re at it, just bring another 10 lbs of makeup to cover all my insecurities.
Now listen, I love my dog and all but she is psycho. She barks at every single little thing and attacks me for no reason. I honestly think she’s bipolar. So be generous, and bring me a cute puppy that will love me.
I’m running low on my heads of lettuce, so bring me a life supply of those. Because according to others, that’s all I can eat.
This next one is surprisingly not for me. It’s for my dear cousin Celest Castellanos. Her socks never match. I don’t think they’ve ever have. It’s pretty sad so make sure to bring her some pairs so she can stop wearing a Spongebob sock paired with a Halloween sock on the daily.
Do us all a favor and get us a new President.
Lastly, give me a will to live. Or at least some motivation. Now, I hope this isn’t too much to ask for. I’m really counting on you to come in clutch this Christmas, Santa.